Narcissism

I include an information section on narcissism because as a therapist, I deal with this as much as anxiety, depression and marraige counseling. Narcissism is a word used to describe the act of being self-absorbed or ego-centris, viewing the world through the filter of oneself. Everyone is narcissistic to some degree, as we all experience life through our own emotions, thoughts and sensations. Of course, like any character trait, there’s a huge difference between people, a gradient of how able one is in seeing past their own experience to others, from mature interdependence to being completely stuck in one’s view of reality. Since we live in a rather narcissistic society, its often hard to pinpoint what is problematic behaviour and what is not, since its all around us to some degree, and everyone’s definition of normal is different.

The natural maturing, growing process of children and adults is working through our narcissistic tendencies to develop the skills and inner security to have caring, supportive relationships. Some people get stuck, using narcissism as a coping strategy and protection from inner pain. Many people have a few narcissistic traits, making certain problems hard to resolve, but otherwise have good relationship skills. Others have many, exhibiting real trouble in the give and take of relationships, making it really challenging for others to hold their own in a relationship or work situation. As well, some people are just more sensitive to another’s words and actions, some people are naturally more flexible, and others are less affected.